Jake! The _kings_ are here!

I have to preface this by admitting that we are not what one would describe as playing, or even practicing, church attenders. At the moment that status is decidedly "bench warmers" and if the religious right is holding out for us to come in and save them in the 4th quarter they are probably betting on the wrong horse. But we are not atheist and Christmas, including the "real" Christmas story and the concepts of familial closeness and gift giving as a symbol of love, is alive and well in our household. As a consequence of these two facts, Elena has a bit more of a pragmatic association with the Christmas story -- it having equal footing with other such Biblical sagas as "Thomas and the Big Big Bridge". Today I walked into her room to be informed that I needed to be quiet as she was talking with baby Jesus (note to self, leave rural Appalachia _soon_). I then received a lengthy discourse on baby Jesus' sleeping habits (in a covered cradle at that moment). I informed Elena that I was headed out to pull the car into the garage, got the OK, and went and did that. I walked back in from the garage to be confronted by Elena who, in an exasperated tone of voice, said "Jake! (which she has taken to calling me). The _kings_ are here!". Madness. The kings brought their kid with them (didn't know they had one did you?) and he was loud and rude and was yelling and waking up baby Jesus. Finally the kings gave their kid away to someone else because he was too loud (apparently an acceptable practice in 0 AD) and gave their gifts to Jesus -- he was sleeping so they had to put them on a shelf, maybe they should have kept their kid long enough to keep Jesus awake for the presents. With that sorted out, Elena settled down to nurse Jesus (yes, the second coming is upon us and I am the "grandfather" -- didn't know that either did you? Be a little nicer next time you see me.) while his older sister (I'd heard rumors of an older brother, but this is the first I'd learned of Jesus' 7 or 8 year old sister who he really likes quite a lot) kept him entertained.

And there you have it, "the rich, bulging, pageantry" of life with Elena in the Christmas season. Seeing as King James clearly muffed a few details in his translation, we'll be getting drafts of the "Princess Elena" translation to the copy editors soon and you can expect the accurate, revised version under pews near you by Christmas 2008.